Friday Five 10.18 edition

photo (1)h + i decorating halloween cookies last weekend


when pregnant, i have never been overly worried about stretch marks or the weird physical impact is had on my body, but i know there are a lot of women who are. i always thought that the gift of bringing a child into the world far outweighed all the body consequences, but i feel like reading this guy’s take on it is pretty special, too.

including yourself in the picture isn’t anything new, but reading these types of personal statements on it is a good reminder to get myself in there.

very interesting take on raising children and being a mindful parent. 

as of today i am only 11 days away from our due date. it has gone by fast, but 11 days sounds like SOOOOOO many right now.

october 15 was national pregnancy loss and infant remembrance day. i lit a candle and let it burn itself out that night.  this is something that is near and dear to my heart, because, as my friend rachel commented on facebook, ” I’ve lost count of the number of women I know who’ve suffered through this kind of loss. It’s shocking how taboo this conversation is in light of how many families suffer through it”. it is so sad. and so shocking. and so hard.  and it makes me so grateful to have 2 healthy babies, sitting happily in the living room right now.

this weekend kicks off our halloween celebrations with the SBMC Halloween party. I am super pumped to see all the kids get dressed up, pet some lizards and eat some deliciously spooky treats. what are you plans for the weekend?


On Getting Antsy


37 weeks 3 days

It finally happened. The weather turned here, and the mornings are crisp and cool. I love this time of year. I love sweaters and scarves and boots and coffees. I love opening our windows and feeling the cleanness of a fall morning. And today we spent the whole day with the windows open. Cora and I shared a chai tea. I wore a scarf I received for my birthday. And it was warm enough by late morning/early afternoon that we could play at the park with our friends minus our jackets. This time of year, for me, is bliss. But this year things are different. I can feel myself starting to get itchy and stir crazy in the last few weeks before the baby’s expected date of arrival. I am antsy. I am bordering on bored. I finished all my projects and I don’t really have the energy to start anything new. And I am stuck somewhere between filling our days with activities to keep us active and busy, but also leaving down time for rest. Because I just need it. And right now it all feels really hard. It is hard to feel idle, but also feel like I am not doing everything I can to care for and entertain the kids I already have. I am also yearning for the physical relief of not having a tiny person all tucked up into my front parts. I am doing my best to celebrate this time by treating myself (to a deluxe pedicure) and the kids to things like fancy indoor play spaces that we never typically visit. But the truth is that this is all being done in an effort to pass time, to get to the point that we are anxiously waiting to get to. And when I really think about it that way, it doesn’t really feel that great. I am ready for a new baby. I am ready for the balancing act, for Bryan to be home with us, for late night infant snuggles and mornings spent snuggling in bed with whoever wants to join. I am ready to leave behind the awkward giant I have become this pregnancy. I am ready to meet this baby, to grow this family, to be a mommy of three.

A Fall Wishlist

mom uniform

photo (and excellent blog post) here.

You could probably find an infinite number of instance in my writing where I declare that the fall is my very, very favorite. This fall has been no exception.  I am loving the cool mornings and the pumpkin everything.  I am also seeing, reading and devouring every blog’s fall must have list. And while I sit here, great with child, unable to fit into even most of my maternity pants comfortably, I cannot help my day dream about what is on my wish list. So here is a little peek, for anyone who is interested:

hmprodsweaterh&m sweater (i think it would be good for nursing, too!)


striped madewell top


black skinnies. these are my favorite fit, though.


this bag.

i also wouldn’t mind this jacket or these boots.

On the Absence of Hot Water and Being Grateful

Part I

This has been a weird week for our apartment building. Due to some plumbing issues we have been losing access to water, sometimes just the hot water, and we have been subject to weird, unpredictable fire alarms going off even though there isn’t a fire. I woke up Wednesday morning to a cold water only situation. After already having promised Cora she could shower with me. After already planning what my post shower morning was going to be like. And I was so disappointed. I decided to aim my frustrations by ranting on the internet, but before I made it there, I stopped by my Instagram feed. Two mothers were expressing gratefulness for their sick children or the work that was still to be done the night before, after her children had gone to bed. These women were happy to be able to stay home and care for their needy kids, to be of service, to have quiet time to meet their families’ needs. And so I tucked my complaints in my pocket, sprayed myself down with product and went about my day. The internet didn’t need my pathetic complaint about not being able to take a shower or run the dishwasher. I have a home, with two beautiful and healthy children and everything else I could want. Everything else.

Part II

Today we met friends at a pumpkin patch. We ran the kids ragged, pushed them past nap time and sat down to eat lunch. After a sufficient amount of time spent setting up, purchasing and fussing, I looked around and every one of us – 6 kids under 4 and 3 adults were peacefully enjoying our lunch. It was one of the best moments of the day. We were laughing and enjoying each other’s company and everyone was there, just being. And it was wonderful and beautiful and everything I could kind of hope for when I went into this whole stay at home, child raising. hanging out with other moms thing. I am so grateful for these moms who are my friends, who loves my kids. I am so grateful for all these kids who love each other and can sit, peacefully, eating lunch together. It was over in an instant, but while it was happening it was so wonderful!

Part III

This pregnancy has been a pretty big physical struggle for me. In the past, when people have said things to me like “i bet you are ready to have that baby”  I would deny it and say that I really wanted that baby to cook for as long as it needed to. I wanted to practice being grateful for a healthy pregnancy and I didn’t want to cloud it all with impatient emotions. I wanted to relinquish control and find a way to be present, mindful and totally okay with it.  This time, this third time, where I am already taking care of two little kids, I am kind of done. I am ready for the baby part. I would rather have a baby right now that have all the physical difficulty that comes with being so large and full. I am lucky and grateful and mindful of how fortunate we are everyday. It is part of my process. But for anyone who can impact this, let’s get things started, ok?